Honoring our loved ones

I recently went to a home funeral workshop and it gave me new ideas and insights into the non traditional funeral options. Strange as it sounds, I was excited about the possibilities of how we can honor our loved ones with rituals to celebrate their life while dying and after they are gone.

When my son passed away unexpectedly several years ago, no one in the family was prepared for it.  We stumbled through, as grief assaulted us.   Looking back now, I don’t know how we managed not to fall completely apart.   Fortunately we were surrounded by wonderful people who lifted us up when we needed it most.

My mother is almost 91 and I am more prepared for what is to come. What I did learn from my son’s death, was that it needs to be talked about.  My mother has told me what her wishes are.  Until last weekend I had not written anything down.  Writing a ‘death plan’ is not pleasant.  My mom wants a card board casket and to be cremated right away.  No fancy fanfare and her ashes to put in the grave with my father.  

I have known people who do not want to talk about death.  It’s not a typical topic of conversation.  If time allows, I feel being prepared is good way to help everyone to accept the inevitable.   My mother’s mind is slowly slipping away. She can’t remember yesterday,  but can describe a Christmas ornament she purchased 40 years ago in detail.  I see the decline and it breaks my heart.  I want to honor her wishes.  I want to record some of her stories before her mind slips away, because you never know how much time any of us really have. 



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